So tired, so very very tired...

And I'm not even sure if that heading refers to Husband or me!

Husband is exhausted. His marathon walking sessions and total lack of sleep have caught up with him. The insufficiency of food intake is telling now. He is even thinner now than he was last week - really truly just skin and bones. And, to make it worse, last night he was actually puking up the juice that he drank just before dinner.. and after all the puking he just could not eat dinner. Several times yesterday and today, he was so tired that he needed my help just to get out of bed - and that included throughout the night as well. Sleep wasn't really on the cards last night - but we both did manage to get some sleep this afternoon.

Last night we also increased the pain patches to THREE, and since the 3rd patch was being applied for the first time, it took 12 hours (ie, until 9am this morning) for it to take affect. Unfortunately, at 6am, Husband was in pain again, and had to take liquid morphine... which meant that by the time the pain patch kicked in, he was completely dopey and knocked out! My heart ached just from looking at him like that. Ended up holding his hand for a couple of hours and just crying my eyes out. Luckily he was too dopey to realise that I was crying!

Food-wise, today at least, has been reasonably good. He had his usual oats porridge for breakfast at 8am, followed by a soft-boiled egg at 10.30am, followed by rice porridge at 1.30pm (though he had to eat it in 2 installments, the 2nd installment being 2pm), another round of oats porridge at 7pm, and another round of rice porridge at 9pm. Still not a HUGE quantity, but he DID manage to keep everything down with no gagging and no puking either.

Either tomorrow or Tuesday we will be seeing the hospice doctor again - to discuss what other options we have for pain control, as the pain management specialist feels that the pain is going up too fast, and the dosage of meds is going up as well to try and control it, and the side effects will, obviously, get worse (primarily the puking and the hallucinations). So she has suggested two alternatives, and wants the hospice doctor to discuss them with us asap so that we can make a decision soon. Both alternatives will have the plus point of reducing the number of pills that Husband has to take, and, also reduce the side effects! Let's see how it goes.

My parents dropped the maid off this morning, on their way to church, and with her came a huge platter of yummy chicken beriyani rice, made by my sister the night before and sent for me to try out. It was her first attempt, and I have to say it was totally scrumptious. AND she sent more than enough for both the maid and me to have for lunch. My Mum had also made a steamed South Indian dessert, sort of like the Chinese Pau, but with brown sugar and coconut as the filling. Also very yummy - one of my favourite desserts :-). As you can see, today was quite a "foodie" day for me!

I also spent some time today re-organising the kitchen - shifting things around to maximise work space and to cater for 2 dish drainers as one dish drainer is never enough!

That's it for now folks. Please do continue to keep Husband in your thoughts and prayers that we can bring his pain under control and that, if nothing else, he can have some QUALITY of life - a factor that has been sorely missing in his life for almost a year now. Husband just considers that phrase "QUALITY OF LIFE" an absolute joke, and a joke in bad taste at that!

Till next time, stay safe, stay HEALTHY!