Stopped the chemo tablets, for now..

The diarrhoea was just getting worse and worse and worse. The minute Husband ate or drank ANYTHING, he would have to run for the toilet. So I have stopped giving him the chemo pills (and, Yes, the oncologist did agree with that move). Yesterday (Sunday) morning was the last round of chemo pills that he took. Since then none... and there was some small improvement yesterday night, and further improvement today. He has managed to keep in most of his food and drink, and his stomach has not been cramping as badly as the last few days.

We are seeing the oncologist on Wednesday, so let's see what happens then - whether he keeps Husband on these chemo pills, or changes them, or what. We are also seeing the gastro surgeon, as Husband has so much discomfort in the abdominal region even without the trots, that we want to be sure that his stomach and intestines are alright.

Please keep fingers crossed and prayers going that he continues to improve - or our drive to Melaka on Wed is going to be EXTREMELY difficult.

Till next time, keep him in your thoughts, and stay safe, stay HEALTHY!

It's been a difficult few days...

... for both of us.

For Husband - he has no energy, he still has diarrhoea pretty badly, he doesn't want to eat, he doesn't want to drink, he barely gets out of bed.
For me - I am tearing my hair out in sheer frustration at the difficulty in getting him to eat, to drink, to walk, to move.

End result - I blew up at him yesterday. Told him that I cannot do anything for him if he refuses to do even the simplest thing to help himself. If he does not eat, he will get weaker. If he does not move, his muscles will get weaker. If he does not drink, he will be dehydrated (especially with the diarrhoea). I don't think I have ever cried that much in my life before - because I DON'T WANT TO LOSE HIM, and he is not putting in any effort into trying to STAY ALIVE.

We both ended up in tears, and I guess that helped - at least for a while. This seems to go in cycles. He will be good for a few days, then it all gets to him again, and he sinks back into his depression again. At which point getting him to eat or drink anything is almost impossible, and I end up being the 'nagging wife', which I absolutely HATE! This week has been the worst in that cycle.

My sis-in-law, bless her, will be dropping by later with stronger medication to stop the 'trots'. Right now Husband is taking a med called 'loperamide', which was prescribed by the oncologist, but it does not seem to be helping at all. For example, he had a small cheese sandwich for dinner last night, he took the loperamide, and he still ended up having the trots throughout the night - in and out of the toilet at least 8 times!

I know I will have to continue being the 'nag' for as long as necessary, to get him through all this, but please pray that Husband will have the physical, mental and spiritual strength to get through all this.

Till next time, stay safe, stay HEALTHY.

The continuing saga.....

Well, it is Wednesday, and Husband STILL has the trots... though, having taken the relevant anti-diarrhoea medication as prescribed by the oncologist, it has reduced in frequency. So let's see how it goes today, cos if it is still very bad then the oncologist has recommended not taking one of the meds (UFT, the chemo med) until his tummy has stabilised again. Can definitely say that this is NOT a good way to lose weight.

As for me, for a change I have been quite "good". Went swimming on Monday - 1.25km (ie, 25 laps/50 lengths, of a 25m pool) in less than one hour, cooked enough food yesterday to last a few days (especially given Husband's lack of appetite!), did the laundry, ironed everything and put it all away, and today have been to the gym - 3km brisk walk in less than 30 mins, followed by some weight workout for the upper body. Now let's see if I have the will-power (as opposed to the wont-power) to keep doing this on a regular basis. Plan is to go swimming again on Friday - and if it rains then I go to the gym instead (though I have to get a new pair of jogging shoes first, the last pair just died on me!!).

That's the brief update for today. Keep Husband in your thoughts and prayers that his stomach will revert to normal and he can continue with his chemo meds - in his ongoing fight against this cancer.

So, till next time, stay safe, stay HEALTHY!

Chemo #5 aftermath: Brief update

Well, this time round, the dreaded diarrhoea has struck. Taking today as an example, Husband has hardly eaten anything:
- meds at 7am
- a bowl of Quaker oats at 8am
- NO lunch
- meds at 3pm
- a cup of tea and 2 small slices of fruit cake at 4pm
- a small bowl of chilli con carne at 8pm
- meds at 10pm
- a small snack at 11pm.

And YET he has had to make a run for it at least 10 times today! It is completely out of proportion to his intake! If it continues through the night I will be giving him an anti-diarrhoea pill that the oncologist had prescribed in case he did get this unfortunate side-effect.... sigh...

He is totally exhausted, totally lacking in energy, and has hardly any appetite. Having said that, he is still quite upbeat in mood, ever since we got the last blood test results which showed that the cancer marker is finally on the downturn.

Well, hopefully he will stop 'trotting' soon and get some REST. In the meantime, all of you, stay safe, stay HEALTHY!

Busy week: Birthday, Chemo#5, and good news too!

Yep, the week has definitely been quite eventful!

Let's start from the weekend - HP and Tony both turned up on Sat 13th June... HP wanted to shop, and Tony had lots of friends to visit - or at least, that is what we all told Husband! And, to show that these were REALLY their reasons for being here, Tony went visiting on Sat afternoon, and Sun morning... while I took HP shopping on Sun morning and early afternoon, while Husband stayed at home to rest - in anticipation of the drive we had to make to SG on Mon 15th June.

We got home around 3.30pm, and my brother and his wife and ALL three kids had arrived already - Husband was expecting them, as I had told him that we would be having a "small", family only, birthday dinner for him which I would be catering :-). 4pm the caterers turned up - yeeeeks, one hour too early!! - but luckily it did not take much persuasion to get Husband to go and lie down and rest until such time as my parents and my sis and her family turned up! PHEW!! BECAUSE, if he had seen all the stuff the caterers had to set up, he would have KNOWN that there was more than just 'family' turning up that evening :-p.

So, to cut a long story short - he went to lie down; the caterers got on with setting everything up; at 5pm (pretty much SHARP), my parents had arrived, and my sister and her husband were downstairs gathering all the other guests who were coming for Husband's 70th birthday party (unknown to Husband, of course!!), and they all arrived en masse, using all three available lifts, to come up. Everyone kept very very quiet, all gathered in the living room, and then I went into the bedroom to get Husband up - telling him that my parents and sister had arrived. He came out of the room, was greeted just outside the bedroom door by my Mum, kissed her, turned to his left (the living room), and LITERALLY his jaw just dropped with everyone standing there yelling SURPRISE!!!!!!!! All in, including the family, we had 42 people, and I am happy to say that Husband really enjoyed himself. The food was good (Banana Cafe.. excellent food and staff), the birthday cake was gorgeous and delicious (Thanks to Mama Min!) the company was great, and Husband got a TON of chocolates which should keep him happy for quite a while. Also got some lovely plants for our balcony :-). (Photos were taken, but not by me, so when I get the photos from our friends who DID take the photos, I will put some up on the blog!).

Monday we had to drive to SG, and HP came back with us (Tony, unfortunately, had to leave the night before). We had to get some paperwork done in SG which, if we did by mail could take 1 - 2 months to get complete, but if we did in person, would take less than one month. Stayed with Tony, got our errands completed on Tuesday, and on Wednesday drove from SG to Melaka, to my brothers place, where we stayed the night. My #1 niece cooked dinner and it was absolutely scrumptious... potato/leek/ham soup, with crusty garlic bread, followed by pasta primavera. Yum!

Thursday morning we headed to the hospital for chemo #5. As always, prior to the chemo, we go to the Lab for them to take Husband's blood to do blood tests, following which we go for breakfast, then we head to the oncologists clinic in the hospital for the actual chemo. We always have to wait at least a couple of hours following the blood test, as chemo will not start until AFTER the blood test results are ready - at which point we get to see the oncologist, and then Husband has the chemo.

So, I can almost hear you asking "What's the good news?".
Well, for the first time since chemo started, the cancer marker in the blood WENT DOWN!!! So, bearing in mind that 4 chemo cycles have been completed, the cancer marker in the blood (prior to each chemo cycle) were as follows:
- before chemo #1 it stood at 145
- before chemo #2 it stood at 195
- before chemo #3 it stood at 243.5
- before chemo #4 it stood at 258

This time, BEFORE chemo #5, it dropped down to 199.3!! In TWO weeks on the new chemo regimen, it had dropped back down to what it had been after the first chemo! This is such good news and, for the first time, Husband feels like all the costs of chemo are worth while because finally we are seeing something positive..... No, he is not insured. Yes, we have to pay for all this ourselves - this is what gets Husband so angry.. the money that he has saved up to enjoy his retirement is getting burnt on medical expenses. Personally I can think of nothing better to spend our money on than getting him well, but he doesnt agree with me. Good thing it is my opinion that counts in this matter and not his!! :-D

2 more rounds of this chemo regimen, then Husband will have to do another CT Scan to see what is happening inside his soft organs and bones. My fingers are crossed that things will just keep getting better and better.

Does his back/bum still hurt? Yes - that has nothing to do with the cancer, that is still the after-effects of the bed sore, the treatments, the therapy, the surgery, etc, and the pain, though it is getting slowly better, will take months to dissipate. Mind you, every day now he will try and lie on his back for a while, and on some days he is able to lie on his back for an hour at a time...so that is also good progress!

That's it for now folks.. till next time, stay safe, stay HEALTHY!

Chemo #4 aftermath: Brief update

The main side effects of the new regimen of chemo drugs, which has affected Husband pretty badly so far, is the lack of energy and the lack of appetite. And, instead of having any diarrhoea, the total opposite has happened! Kind of like being plugged up! He is most uncomfortable, and the discomfort makes the pain in his tail bone even worse than usual.

As to hair loss - well, we won't know that yet. Not for another 2-3 weeks. Not worried about it though - as all the side effects are reversible once chemo is stopped. I guess the key question is WHEN will chemo ever stop???

We have two of our close friends from SG coming over this weekend - HP and Tony. It will be great to have them here, as it will help to take Husband's mind of things too. Oh, it is also Husband's birthday this coming Sunday June 14th - he will be 70, the best looking 70 year old in the world! - and I just hope and pray that there will be MANY MANY more birthdays ahead.

Till next time, keep Husband in your thoughts and prayers and, as always, stay safe, stay HEALTHY.

Dark clouds, but there is still a tiny silver lining

Unfortunately, the CT Scan done yesterday showed some new problems which have put us in a bit of a "dark cloud" situation. The overall cancer in the body is not much changed from the first round of CT Scan (ie, it has not gotten any worse) BUT, this new CT Scan shows that the cancer is now in the bones, ie, in the spinal column, particularly in the small of the back, the upper back, and the neck.

This is, of course, not good news.

As a result, the chemo regimen has been changed completely. Instead of continuing on Oxaliplatin IV and Xeloda pills, the drugs are changed completely - now Husband has 3 drugs administered separately by IV (Irinotecan, Avastin, and Zometa - which is specific to the bone cancer), and UFT with Folinic Acid (FA) taken orally three times a day. The cycle is still every two weeks...... and the cost of each cycle has gone up three times :-p

Unfortunately, this set of chemo drugs DOES have side effects - definitely hair loss (within 2 - 3 weeks of starting), potentially diarrhoea, nausea, flue-like symptoms, acne, rashes. Not nice :-(. All these will of course stop once chemo is over... but when will chemo be over? The oncologist has warned us that chemo, currently curative, may need to continue for Husband's life time - for preventive purposes. Like Husband says, he is not sure which is going to happen first - bankruptcy, or old age (is that an euphemism for death?)!

It is scary, for both of us, but we will take it one day at a time.

So, I can just hear you saying, where is the silver lining??

:-)
I am an optimist by nature, I have to see the silver lining in every dark cloud. So, here are the silver linings in our lives right now.

1) The pain that Husband is experiencing in his coccyx has reduced to the extent that he is cutting back, and in some cases, completely eliminating, pain killers. The last time he did a CT Scan (end April), he was in absolute AGONY when he had to lie on his back during the scan. Yesterday when he did the CT Scan, he was able to lie on his back, and though it hurt, it was NOT agony this time. In fact, when we drove back from Melaka yesterday he refused to take any pain killer! He only took pain killer last night, before sleeping. And, for the first time in a LONG time, he tried lying on his back this morning and was able to do that for 20 minutes before the pain built up... and he has not taken any pain killer so far this morning!

2) The cancer in the spine is NOT causing him any pain at all

3) Every time we have gone for chemo, the cancer marker in his blood has gone up steadily, usually by a count of 50. ie, before chemo #1 it stood at 145 (in someone without cancer, the cancer marker should be less than 5!), before chemo #2 it stood at 195, before chemo #3 it stood at 243.5. Each time it was an increase of 50 which is HIGH. Yesterday, before chemo #4, it stood at 258... an increase of only 15. So, I am hoping that means that the chemo is starting to take hold, and hopefully the marker should start holding steady and then start reversing.

We are still hanging in there, Husband is more and more upbeat as the pain eases up more, and we are enjoying being able to spend time together.

So, till next time, keep us in your thoughts, pray that the cancer in the bone can be destroyed with this new regimen, and, as always, stay safe, stay HEALTHY.

Another step in the right direction?

The normal pain killer schedule for Husband is as follows:
- 8.30am, 1xUltracet, 1x400mg Brufen
- 4.30pm, 1xUltracet, 1x200mg Brufen
- 10.30pm, 1xUltracet, 1x600mg Brufen

Yesterday, for the first time in a LOOOOONG time, he deliberately decided NOT to take the afternoon pain killer.... and HE MADE IT TO 10.30pm. Yes, he was still hurting - I could see it in his face - but he made it! I think that, in the last two months, the pain has been ever so slowly reducing on a daily basis - and all the walking and moving that he has been doing have helped too. It is definitely going to take a lot more time before it is gone, but at least we know we are moving in the right direction :-D

Tomorrow is chemo #4. Will leave home early, target to get to Melaka before 9am - as the oncologist wants him to do a CT Scan again, not just the usual blood test. Please keep fingers crossed that the CT Scan does not show anything worse than the scan taken one month ago. It is (I think) still too early to see positive results, but at this stage it would be positive just to NOT see anything worse than the situation of one month ago.

Will update again after we get back from Melaka tomorrow. Till then, stay safe, stay HEALTHY.