Chemo #14, done and dusted

.. and we still have the same conundrum - all factors tested show that Husband is perfectly healthy... but the CEA has gone UP again, from 338 (2 weeks ago), to 580 now. Yes, it still worries us, but as long as the "disease weight" in the body (lovely turn of phrase there!!) is so light, at least according to the oncologists, then he is still doing well, and everything is stable.

And, yes, it is TWO oncologists who have told us the same thing, especially after they reviewed the CT Scans.

I guess it is some relief to us, but, of course, psychologically, as long as the CEA keeps going up, we will still worry.

The drive to Melaka and back (2 hours each way), and the 2 hours of SITTING for the chemo, have totally numbed Husband's bum (another nice phrase - a numb bum!), and he is lying down and trying to recover and get over the pain... which is quite excruciating. The new pain killers DO help, but cannot take away the pain even under normal circumstances, let alone after sitting for so many hours.

Nothing else exciting to report... as always keep Husband in your thoughts and prayers that the cancer will either completely be eradicated, or at least will stay as stable as it is now.

Till next time, stay safe, stay HEALTHY!

Of fathers and children...

This post, for a change, is not going to talk about Husband's health!!

Well, most of you know that we have always been in touch with Husband's son in the UK. What most of you don't know is that he also has two daughters, whom he lost touch with a long time ago, for various reasons. I've always hoped we would be able to get back in touch with them eventually, as family IS very important to me, and I am happy to say that it has finally happened!!

Thanks to Husband's sister (Avis) in the UK, who passed on the news of Husband's current fight with cancer through whatever channels of communication she had with the girls. The end result - 2 daughters (Debra and Sarah) back in touch with their father, and the realisation for us that Husband is now a .... wait for it.... GREAT GRANDFATHER!!! :-D

Yep, not just a GRANDFATHER (that he already knew), but a GREAT Grandfather - as Sarah's son, Ben (and his fiance, Ruth), have a gorgeous 6-month old baby boy by the name of Cohen! And he IS gorgeous. With any luck, they may be able to come here for a short break next year, and we will get to meet.

Of course, I am still hoping that Husband will recover fully by next year, so that we can actually go to the UK for a holiday to meet his whole family, and I have an ulterior motive too - as my classmates from school in the UK (1974 - 1979) are planning a get-together in London sometime in July, if enough of us can make it :-D. We'll see how it goes, as there are still a few months to go till then!

Tomorrow morning we are off to Melaka for the usual - blood tests and chemo session #14. Husband is NOT looking forward to the drive because even with the new meds he still suffers when he has to sit for too long. Anyway, we found out that the trip to Melaka for chemo is definitely worth it from a financial point of view, as the cost of chemo here in KL is a good 50% MORE than what we pay in Melaka..... gave us a bit of a shock when we found out what it would cost us here. EEEK!!!!

That's it for now folks. Please continue to keep Husband in your thoughts and prayers, and I will update the blog once we are back from Melaka.

Till next time, stay safe, stay HEALTHY!

Radiotherapy over... no change to pain!

I guess, in one way, that is good news - as it means that the cancer in the bone is still "minimal". As the oncologist reminded us today - based on the fairly comprehensive CT scans that were done just two weeks ago and last week - there are no tumours, all soft organs are still healthy with no cancer in them, minor lesions in the liver, but that could be from anything, including old illnesses, etc. In other words, Husband is very stable, the cancer under control, with no sign of spread, and, God willing, it will NOT spread, it WILL get better.

OK, back to the subject of pain. It seems that the pain must definitely be from the site of the bed sore. Husband tried to describe the pain to the oncologist as two "types" of pain. (1) constant pain, like an extremely bad toothache and (2) sudden sharp shooting pains, like he has just been skewered with an icepick. Based on this the oncologist feels that he could have different reasons for the different types of pain. The constant numb pain COULD be from the cancer in the bone OR it could be from the overall muscle trauma following the bed sore and the ensuing treatment and operations. The sharp shooting pain is more like the sudden over-stimulation of a nerve. So, he has prescribed different pain killers for Husband as he feels the ones that he is taking now (particularly Brufen/Neurofen) will not aid in this type of pain.

We go back to see him again in one month. If the pain has not responded to the new meds, then he is going to recommend that Husband goes to see a pain management specialist. Of course, the "good" news is that if we DO have to go see a pain management specialist, I already know which one to see - as my brother (the doctor) had recommended a good one to my mother (who still has a LOT of pain following the quintuple heart bypass she had in Nov last year), and this pain management specialist is not far from where we live. I must admit, it is very very useful having so many doctors in the family :-D.

Other than the above, even though it is only just 3.40pm right now (as I write this), it has been an amazingly "UP" day for Husband. He has eaten well already - in fact he has eaten more today than he has in the last 3 days practically - he has been walking around with me, he came with me to take the car to the workshop to check the back tyre (it was deflating ever so slowly, and I needed to get it fixed BEFORE we drive to Melaka this Friday, as I did NOT want to end up with a flat tyre on the highway half-way between KL and Melaka!!), and then to the post office to pay a bill (most can be paid via Internet banking, but there are still TWO bills that cannot be paid via IB!!!), to the bank to get some money, lunch, then home. He is now lying down, as he is totally wiped out, and I have already given him one of the new pain killers - and we shall see if it works any better than the 'usual' ones.

Tomorrow (Wed) afternoon, we are going to see the surgeon who did the original operation on Husband (the one to remove the blockage in the colon). This is just to basically check that his stomach and intestines are all still healthy and that the stomach sensitivity he has is not an issue!

This Friday is chemo #14. I am hoping that the radiotherapy would have killed off more of the cancer cells and that the CEA would have gone down. I know it could be wishful thinking but then, as one of my friends just reminded me, that's how miracles happen too :-) (Thanks for that reminder, Patrick!). I will update the blog once we are back from Melaka, sometime over the weekend.

That's it for now folks. Please continue to keep Husband in your thoughts and prayers, and, till next time, stay safe, stay HEALTHY!

Dismal results, so far

Three radiotherapy sessions have been completed. Each session takes only a few minutes of time to carry out. Two more scheduled - for Monday and Tuesday. So far, however, the pain is still there. There is no relief as yet. Which, I must admit, depresses the hell out of both of us :-(.

It is absolutely heart-wrenching to see how much Husband suffers every single day. It is painful whatever he does - whether walking, lying, sitting, it makes NO difference. It is just constant, unrelenting PAIN. Yes, he takes painkillers - quite a lot too - but they just barely chip the edge off the pain.

I am hoping and hoping that by the time the next two radiotherapy sessions are over there WILL be relief from the pain, but, so far, the results have not been encouraging. Husband ends up in tears as he feels so useless, and I end up in tears because I can't do anything to help him.

Please continue to keep Husband in your thoughts and prayers that the pain WILL ease up SOON, so that at least he can be pain-free while continuing to fight the cancer. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers too, that I continue to have the strength and health to look after Husband all the way.

Till next time, stay safe, stay HEALTHY.

Radio Ga-Ga, Radio Goo-Goo

Um, No, I am not channelling Queen or Freddie Mercury... and if I were to do that, it would not be with that song, which is one of the few songs of Queens' that I actually DON'T like :-D.

Radiotherapy is the subject here.

Since the radiotherapy machine in the hospital we usually go to is not working, our lovely oncologist (Yes, he is a truly lovely person) directed us to another oncologist at the hospital in KL where Husband had his original operation. So, we went to see him today (Man, I got to say, I HATE the waiting time at this hospital. For a private hospital, they are not very efficient in their systems, though they do have wonderful doctors and nurses.) Anyway, the outcome, to cut a long story short, is that, over the next 5 days (Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Monday, Tuesday), Husband is going to have 5 short bursts of radiotherapy, focused on the bones in the spine (around the sacrum area) that seem to be most affected by the cancer.

He had a CT Scan today, focused on those bones, and the therapy starts tomorrow. No fixed time yet - as they will call us when it is all ready. This CT Scan did not cause as much suffering as normal, as no contrast dye was required, so there was no intravenous injection of dye necessary! That was a major relief to Husband (and to me!).

The doctor did explain to us that the pain could be due to TWO reasons - one of which could be infection caused by the operation to close the bed sore wound. BUT, because Husband has absolutely no fever, there is no discharge, and everything has healed well, he has ruled out infection. That leaves the metastasis of the cancer into the spinal bones in the sacrum area (shows up very clearly in the scan) as the primary cause of the intensifying pain. He did say that for colon cancer to metastasise into the bones, without spreading to the soft organs, is very very very rare. Trust Husband to always be in the extremely tiny minority for ANYTHING!

The doc also told us that Husband should feel pain relief very soon after start of radiotherapy - with any luck, even after the first or second session Husband should feel better. But, as my pessimistic Husband says, "I'll believe it when I feel it."

I guess I can't blame him at all for being so pessimistic, when it feels that lately NOTHING has been going his way at all. My poor, poor babe!! :-(

This oncologist will also be having a discussion with our oncologist to discuss what further options for treatment there may be - as we seem to be running out of possible new drugs and options to try!

Fingers crossed everyone, and prayers going.

Next update will be after a couple of radiotherapy sessions, as we will know better then whether there is any improvement.

Till then, keep Husband in your thoughts and prayers, and stay safe, stay HEALTHY!

A major walkabout, followed by major aches!

Yesterday (Sunday), Husband was feeling very cheerful, and much stronger than usual, so we went walkabout in Ikano/Curve area. After a couple of hours, I asked him if he wanted to head home, but he said No, he can keep walking :-P... so we kept walking, and walking, and walking... for almost FOUR HOURS! By the time we got home, he was exhausted. Was still able to stay up the rest of the day, but, guess what, by night time the muscle ache had hit him - particularly as we had not just walked FOUR hours, but because he had walked much FASTER than he has in a long long time!

You know what you feel like when you go to the gym after a LONG break, and the next day your muscles are KILLING you? Well, that is what has hit Husband. His muscles are killing him - his leg muscles, his bum muscles (Yes, you do use your bum muscles when you walk!!), and his back (as always) is aching.

Of course, at this time he is aching so much that he just cannot believe that the ache WILL recede in 2 - 3 days time, so he is feeling rather despondent again (particularly since he was feeling so good yesterday morning)... My job - to keep reminding him that his muscles WILL stop aching, that he WILL feel better, etc, and, of course, to keep him eating, drinking and taking his meds regularly.

That's it for now... till next time, keep Husband in your thoughts and prayers, and stay safe, stay HEALTHY!

Day 2 after chemo

... and things have been surprisingly upbeat and good! Since early June, there has never been a single time that Husband has been up and about the day after chemo! However, since switching back to the original drugs (Oxaliplatin + Xeloda) for this last chemo, he has been so active I can't believe it!!!!!

Yesterday (Saturday), up early, medicated, on his Mac - surfing, came with me to the supermarket, then to the deli (where we also had brunch), then back home for a while, then HE suggested we go visit my parents, so off we went to see them and my sister and her family (my parents and my sister live just 3 doors apart, so it is easy to visit both :-p ), then back home again when he took some time to cook chicken stew, then he was watching TV, surfing the net in between, wandering round the house when his back hurt too much to sit, and eventually to bed at 11pm! Now, if that is not an active day for him, I don't know what is!

And today he wants to go out and about too! I hope the cancer recedes as fast as he has recovered from the Erbitux effects!

Please continue to keep him in your thoughts and prayers, that he keeps improving and the cancer keeps reducing.

Till next time, stay safe, stay HEALTHY!

Chemo #13, and a puzzle!

Husband suffered from the Erbitux and we had high hopes that the CEA would go down from that drug... but we were horribly disappointed when we turned up at the hospital on Friday morning, got the blood test results from the previous day, and found that the CEA had gone UP again - to 338. We were both so despondent when we saw that, and Husband's first reaction was "I want to stop chemo, I don't want to keep throwing good money after bad and not getting any results." This, as you can imagine, did NOT go down too well with me, as I do NOT want Husband giving up the fight. What adds to the frustration is that ALL other test results were PERFECT!! There is absolutely NO indication, other than the CEA, that there is anything wrong with Husband at all!

The blood test results obviously got the oncologist puzzled too, as the first thing Husband was told was "GO DO ANOTHER CT SCAN", and they gave us the relevant forms, etc. So, off we went - to Radiology, where Husband suffered through another CT Scan. And when I say "suffered", I really do mean it - the injection of whatever dye they use, goes through an IV via a vein on the back of his hand. And his veins are VERY VERY fragile and thin, and if the IV is too fast, the pain is AGONISING! Anyway, scan done, we had to wait about 1 hour 15 minutes to get the scan and the report - and, guess what, the report said "NO SIGNIFICANT CHANGES"! Everything is very very stable - the same tiny lesions in the liver , the same scarring on the spine, the same lymph nodes affected, lungs clean, kidneys clean, chest clean, abdomen and pelvic areas both clean, no tumours, no growths - in other words, ABSOLUTELY NO CHANGE, NO SPREAD, NO NOTHING!!! So that is even more puzzling that the CEA is going up!

Anyway, the oncologist has reminded us that the CEA is only a hint of what is happening, not the be all and end all. He has also taken Husband off the Erbitux and put him back on the original chemo drugs that we started with (Oxaliplatin) and it's related daily medication. Husband is still suffering from the side effects of Erbitux, as it will still take a few days for the Erbitux to get out of Husband's system. I CAN see that it is reducing - as the rash on his back, and the spots on his poor nose are disappearing - but it WILL take a few more days! Also, in addition to the reversion to the original chemo drugs, he also wants Husband to go for ONE targetted blast of radiotherapy, focusing on the lower back (sacrum, coccyx), as he feels that a lot of the pain that Husband is feeling in that area could be from the cancer that was mainly in that area of the spine.... and he says that the targetted radiotherapy should help to reduce the pain as well. The radiotherapy machine at the hospital is out of commission (with no firm date of when it will be fixed), so he has given us a letter to an oncologist in our usual KL hospital, to get the radiotherapy done in KL instead. I will make the arrangements on Monday (today being a public holiday in Malaysia, for Deepavali - the Indian Festival of Lights), and hopefully the radiotherapy can be arranged asap this coming week.

We are back in KL now, of course, taking it easy, and hoping that Husband recovers quick from the "Erbitux after effects".

That's the updates on chemo #13... and we have no idea how long this puzzle is going to last, but please continue to keep Husband in your thoughts and prayers!

And to ALL MY HINDU FRIENDS - HAPPY AND BLESSED DEEPAVALI!

Till next time, stay safe, stay HEALTHY!

So, what's happening?

Not too much right now, which is kinda good too :-). We have spent time with Tony, with Peng, with Cathy. I've had time to meet up with Hadar and Bilal. Husband and I have run a few errands..... and I guess that's about it!

This Thursday is blood test day - we are driving to Melaka late morning, arriving at the hospital by mid-afternoon, going straight to the lab so they can take the usual 2 syringes full of blood for testing, and then heading over to my brother's place, as we are staying the night with them. The blood test results will be sent straight to the oncologists clinic once they are ready... so we don't have to wait around.

Chemo is on Friday, so we will head back to the hospital early morning, and check out the blood test results - and KEEP OUR FINGERS CROSSED THAT THE CANCER MARKER HAS GONE DOWN DOWN and DOWN! To be honest, I don't know what we will do if it has not gone down. The thought is really quite scary! Please keep Husband in your prayers that there is a good result, as it will cheer him up if the marker goes down and, in the last few weeks, there has been very little for Husband to be cheerful about :-(.

OK, stop, let's not go there - it gets too depressing to continue in that vein. Let's just hope for the best this week.

I will update the blog after we are back from chemo, so, till then folks, keep Husband in your thoughts and prayers and stay safe, stay HEALTHY!

Have you ever heard of a 'pain-killer patch'?

I hadn't, before last Wed, and then my brother (the doc) had a discussion with the oncologist and Husband was given two of these pain-killer patches to try out. One patch is supposed to be stuck onto the chest or back and will remain effective for up to 72 hours! For the first application, it will take anything from 6 - 12 hours for the effects to be felt. I figured this would be a brilliant way for Husband to handle long distance drives (assuming the patch works), and would make it possible for us to make the trip to SG that we have been planning for so long and keep on postponing as Husband just cannot sit for 4 hours in the car!

So, anyway, after much argument, I forced Husband to allow me to apply one patch on him at 10pm last night - there are side effects associated with these patches, and I want to see if he gets any of these side effects NOW, while we are in KL in easy reach of our doctors, rather than sticking the patch on him the night before we go to SG and then he gets hit with weird side effects while we are in SG and I have no recourse to any doctor!!!

The patch is really tiny. Not much bigger than my thumb. I stuck the patch on Husband's back, on the right side, just below the shoulder, and (just in case) put a layer of water proof plaster over it. He still had to take his pain killers for last night, as the patch would not take affect until this morning anyways... SO, it is now 11 hours later - AND YES THE PATCH HAS TAKEN AFFECT!!

Yes, he can still feel some pain in the usual lower back area. BUT, it is completely bearable without need for any other pain killer, and at least will be a good reminder for Husband not to do anything stupid when he walks (like doing the pas de deux, as he says!). It has also made him rather light-headed!! You know the feeling you get when you take one of these extremely strong cough mixtures which have the warning "May make you drowsy, do not drive...."? Yep, that is exactly how he feels. Told him it is just as well that he is not doing any driving nowadays anyway!

Now we have to see how long it will take to wear off. Theoretically, the effects should last 3 days (72 hours), so that would take us through to Thursday night. That should also give us time to see if Husband gets any of the side effects associated with this patch (breathlessness, nausea, constipation). Fingers crossed!

If all goes well, we may yet make our trip to SG after all!

That's the news for today. Keep Husband in your thoughts and prayers, that the cancer can be destroyed.

Till next time, stay safe, stay HEALTHY!

Friends have come, and gone...

... and we miss them already! Tony and Peng - come back again ... SOON! We love having you here, and only wish you could stay longer :-p. (And, Peng, I hope and pray that your Dads' chemo goes smoothly, and that he responds well to the treatment!)

Husband was not able to join us as much as he would have liked to (as he really enjoys their company), as he was (and IS) in a lot of pain. All down to the pain-causing aspect of the Erbitux! With all the pain he is going through with this drug, it better WORK! Or else Husband is going to end up more despondent than ever :-(.

My #1 niece (my brothers oldest daughter) celebrated her 21st birthday on Friday - and MAN, that makes me feel so old! I still remember, like it was last week, holding her in my arms when she was just a few hours old... and now she is TWENTY-ONE? Where did the last 21 years go?

And my #3 nephew (my sisters 2nd son) celebrated his 8th, or is it 9th, birthday? OK, that still sounds young, so it doesn't make me feel so old :-D.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY (slightly belated) to both MIRA and STEPHEN, and may you both enjoy many many many happy years ahead of you.

That's it for now. Till next time, keep Husband in your thoughts and prayers, and stay safe, stay HEALTHY!

The pain is baaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

It looks like the Zometa painkiller effect has worn off already. The only good part is that the pain has not reached the excruciating levels of last Sun-Tue!! I suppose, for Husband, he is back to his "normal" pain level, elevated by the Erbitux... but it sounds strange to say "normal pain level"! Is there such a thing? All I can see is that he is too tired today to even hit his target of showering before 10am. He is back in bed, hopefully sleeping. And he is targeting that he will be up and about by tomorrow so that he can enjoy Tony and Pengs visit :-).

I have to say that having our friends come and stay (even if it is only a short stay!) really does help - to take Husband's mind off the pain, to alleviate the feeling of 'cabin fever', and he has someone more to talk to than just me :-p. And it helps that Husband and I have been friends with Peng and Tony for the last 11 years, since Tony, Peng and I worked together in SG in the same company. Looking forward to their arrival tomorrow morning :-).

Keep Husband in your thoughts, that he has the strength to withstand the pain, and that the chemo wipes out the cancer.

Till next time, stay safe, stay HEALTHY!

Chemo #12 is over

At the last chemo, Husband was administered two drugs - Erbitux first (this is the one that causes pain!!), followed by Camptosar. And the 2 weeks following that he was in a HUGE amount of pain and really suffered.

This time round, in addition to the above 2 drugs, he was also administered Zometa (which is targetted at the cancer in the bones) which he has been having every alternate treatment anyway. It turns out (as the oncologist told us) that Zometa is also a pain killer (!), and it seems to have helped this time round.

Husband just told me he is worried because he cannot believe how OK he feels today, as compared to the last time, when the pain had him (literally) bed-ridden. That is a huge relief to both of us - and I hope that the pain-killing will hold for some period of time. And in case it does not, he has also been prescribed another pain killer to take as and when the Zometa wears off and the pain peaks as it did in the last few days of the last chemo cycle - in addition, of course, to all the pain killers he has been taking anyway!

Fingers crossed folks!

What other news? Oh yes, another friend of ours from SG (MichaelO) came and spent the last weekend with us - and it was a nice relaxing weekend. And, this coming weekend, we have Tony and HP again :-D, which gives us both something to really look forward to again.

My Dad celebrated his 76th birthday on 29th Sept, and my sister and I arranged to meet at Souled Out at Sri Hartamas, for a birthday dinner, after which we adjourned back to our place for birthday cake. Nice evening. Tell you what though - the food and the service at Souled Out are excellent. It is only the 2nd time we have been, and both times we were impressed. Cuisine is both Western and Asian. We would definitely go again. Of course, it also helps that it is literally just across the road from our place, so that if Husband needs to get home fast, it is easy to do!

That's it for now folks. Please continue to keep Husband in your thoughts and prayers that the Erbitux is working and that the cancer will be destroyed.

Till next time, stay safe, stay HEALTHY!