One small step forward

Husband is slightly more used to the opiate now. When he is sitting up, there are zero hallucinations, and he talks absolute sense. It is only when he is lying down that he still has the hallucinations, the imaginary conversations, the twitching, etc. I have also adjusted dosages and timings slightly. Each opiate dose is (as of 4am today) at 6ml, so that he can go for 3 hours without being disturbed for the next dose. So, at 4am and then at 7am, 2 doses of 6ml each. Then at 10am, 3 Oxycontin tablets, which keeps him going for about 4 hours. Then at 2pm, 5pm and 8pm, opiate doses at 6ml each. Then at 11pm, 3 Oxycontin tablets and one Amitryptilline tablet which keeps him going till 4am again!

The target is to increase the dosage slowly, till he can go for at least 4 - 5 hours at a stretch. Can't rush it, as I also need him to get used to the side effects first!! I have had reassurance from 2 different sources, who have had first hand experience of seeing their loved ones going through similar situations, that the body DOES get used to the side effects, and once the body is adapted, then the pain killer aspect of the opiate continues, without the dozy aspect! Of course, each person takes different durations to adapt, but it DOES happen. So that was quite reassuring!

Husband's son (J) called yesterday and asked a question which he has been wanting to ask for a long time, but was a little bit scared to ask. Since Husband was not up to taking the call, J talked to me and finally asked me that question "What is the REAL prognosis". That is a slightly oblique way of asking "Is my Dad going to die?" The same question has been asked by Husband's younger daughter as well, and I am sure the same question is in a lot of peoples minds too.

Well, I guess everyone has to die at some point or other, and Husband is already 70 (still the best looking 70 in the world!!!). BUT, not anytime soon!!! The oncologists are still amazed at the cancer progression in his body. For one thing, all his soft organs (liver, kidney, lungs) are CLEAN. There is very very little cancer in the body. Even the cancer in the bone seems to be stable as it has not spread (just hit enough to cause the extreme pain he is in!!!!). As the onco's say "The disease weight in his body is VERY VERY light". The other thing that puzzles the onco's is the fact that it spread to the bone, without touching the soft organs. For colon cancer, metastasis to the bone is rare already... and metastasis to the bone without TOUCHING the soft organs - now that really is an impossibility as far as they are concerned. But then, trust Husband to be that 1 in 10 million! He will have to do chemo for the rest of his life, to ensure that the cancer is kept under control, but... he and I still have a few years to go together :-D.

My most fervent prayer is that we are able to ENJOY the time we have together, without the awful pain that Husband is suffering. I want to take him to the UK again next year (possibly our last trip there) to meet his family again, and our closest friend there (Kevin), and a few other close friends. I want to take him to Tg Rhu at Langkawi again, and to Phuket Pavilions on Phuket, and to Berjaya on Tioman Island. I want to be able to take him to see all our family and friends in both KL and SG, who have been here for us in this very very difficult time, and who I know will continue to be with us. For that, he needs to be pain free, and able to travel... so, please pray for him that he should find total relief from this pain, and that the cancer be eradicated.

That's it for now... till next time, please continue to keep Husband in your thoughts and prayers, and... stay safe, stay HEALTHY!