It's been a difficult few days...

... for both of us.

For Husband - he has no energy, he still has diarrhoea pretty badly, he doesn't want to eat, he doesn't want to drink, he barely gets out of bed.
For me - I am tearing my hair out in sheer frustration at the difficulty in getting him to eat, to drink, to walk, to move.

End result - I blew up at him yesterday. Told him that I cannot do anything for him if he refuses to do even the simplest thing to help himself. If he does not eat, he will get weaker. If he does not move, his muscles will get weaker. If he does not drink, he will be dehydrated (especially with the diarrhoea). I don't think I have ever cried that much in my life before - because I DON'T WANT TO LOSE HIM, and he is not putting in any effort into trying to STAY ALIVE.

We both ended up in tears, and I guess that helped - at least for a while. This seems to go in cycles. He will be good for a few days, then it all gets to him again, and he sinks back into his depression again. At which point getting him to eat or drink anything is almost impossible, and I end up being the 'nagging wife', which I absolutely HATE! This week has been the worst in that cycle.

My sis-in-law, bless her, will be dropping by later with stronger medication to stop the 'trots'. Right now Husband is taking a med called 'loperamide', which was prescribed by the oncologist, but it does not seem to be helping at all. For example, he had a small cheese sandwich for dinner last night, he took the loperamide, and he still ended up having the trots throughout the night - in and out of the toilet at least 8 times!

I know I will have to continue being the 'nag' for as long as necessary, to get him through all this, but please pray that Husband will have the physical, mental and spiritual strength to get through all this.

Till next time, stay safe, stay HEALTHY.